The Power of Petting Horses

I recently had a discussion with a lady who asked me if I thought petting and rubbing horse would create a pushy, spoiled horse. She told me people at her barn warned her about that would give her horse bad manners. Over the years I come to believe that men, for the most part, are really much more likely not to be as hands on petting and rubbing horses as women are. Men make not have that type of contact with a horse foremost in their mind, or may think that's it's not very manly or such. I don't. In fact, I get a lot of ribbing like "you sure do like petting and rubbing your horses." But as far as petting and rubbing on your horses, I believe it's much in how you do it. It's like riding with spurs. If you use spurs judiciously and softly, they can help you and the horse, but used wrong, just to gouge or punish the horse, then you and your methods are going to be detrimental. Same as petting on your horse - do it in a manner that encourages pushiness is not good and getting the horse's head where it can smack you could be dangerous.

There is a secret, really several, on petting and rubbing horses,  but it basically come down to, yes it can help calm and horse, and 2 - no amount of petting will replace getting a horse to understand what you are asking, or what most people would say, training a horse. Two weeks ago, I brought home a 2 year old gelding from a horse auction. As you can imagine, he was very nervous being trailered to a new home absent of the other 2 year old geldings who had been his paddock mates for his young lifetime. Once I got him in his new pen and before I took the halter off, I rubbed on his nose and cheeks until his demeanor changed just a bit and I got his head to soften. It was just replacing his anxiety with some comfort, just changing his perspective for a bit.  And his first inkling that I was there to take care of him and he can trust me.  

Another time I was in the arena judging an event when a man rode his horse in to make his run. This horse, being in place without the support of the other horses, became very scared and would not continue move forward. After a few minutes, which probably seemed like an hour to the rider, the rider said he was going to dismount and lead the horse out. I asked the rider to wait a minute, then I approached the horse and petted on him stroking his nose then putting a hand on his poll and hand on his nose and getting him to soften a bit. After a short time, I told the rider, when I walk away he may follow, and if so, just give him his head and let him follow me. So I walked away and that horse followed me from one obstacle to another. I think I changed his thinking from being troubled with being by himself without his buddies to liking what I had to offer him and wanting to buddy up with me. It did not change his perspective on being by himself from here on out, it just was one small step in the process of letting him accept new things.

Like the 2 year old gelding I just brought home and the horse I described above, this is one of the first things I'll do with a horse to introduce softness in their head and neck. It's hard to do when they are scared and focused on the new environment or situation, but it can help get a change in the horse. But between rubbing and petting on their nose, around the eye socket and poll, I'll stop with one hand on their nose and the other on their poll and put just a bit of pressure until they drop their head. I always have a hand in position to block and discourage movement that is pushy or could be dangerous.


In the beginning, I'm just looking for the head to come down a bit. It may come down slowly and they may be bracy at first, but in just a few times that improves much. And like I said, in between the asking for softness, I do the rubbing and petting. Again, this is where you can encourage or preempt pushiness. A horse will likely turn his head towards you and you need to be prepared to block that. You want your hands and forearms in a position where you can block that. So one or both hands and forearms are always between your face and the horse. This is especially true if your horse likes to put his lips on you, nibble or even bite you. And I told MH that while it feels good to us to pet and rub on a horse, our enjoyment can't be the primary purpose.....it has to be good for the horse and used to relax the horse and change his thinking to create a window for learning. You can feel that change when the tension or rigidness goes out of them....that's the time to get out of there, before they get bracy.

I remember a very well known and universally respected horse trainer who said never rub or pet on your horse while they are feeding. I disagreed then and now, with the caveat that it's how you go about doing it. While a green or new horse is relaxed and feeding, I'll use that time to touch and rub him to see if he has any trouble areas. Sometimes a horse will pull his head up, turn and look at me, but they rapidly go back to their feed. By the time I pull that horse to do ground work or saddle him, he has already been touched about everywhere.

The often repeated saying. “There’s something about the outside of a horse that is good for the inside of a man”, which has been attributed to various sources, including Winston Churchill and Ronald Reagan, to me isn't necessarily limited to riding a horse. The feeling we get, and especially the joy that people new to horses get, is just good for our souls. When riding back from open country and crossing a road to see a vehicle stop and people watch me, I never hesitate to ride over to them and have a chat which almost always results in the people getting out to pet my horse. One of my favorite stories was when I saw a car stopped and rode up to find a lady, probably in her late 30's, with her elderly mother to had Alzheimer's in the front seat. She said she was just driving her mother around to change her routine and decided to drive into the country. Her mother was wheel chair bound so she couldn't get her out of the car on the shoulder of the highway, so I asked her to roll down her window. I rode around to the passenger side and had my horse stick his nose into the car. I'll always remember the look of joy of that elderly women's face as she raised a hand an touched my horse's nose.

So yes, petting and rubbing on horse's is good for us and it can be good for the horse. Make it so.