Cowboy Humor - Gunfighting Tips

A young Cowboy was sitting in a saloon one Saturday night, he recognized an elderly man standing at the bar who, in his day, had the reputation of being the fastest gun in the West.

The young cowboy took a place next to the old-timer, bought him a drink and told him the story of his great ambition to be a famous gunfighter.

"Do you think you could give me some tips?" asked the young cowboy.

The old man looked him up and down and said, "Well, for one thing, you're wearing your gun too high. Tie the holster a little lower down on your leg."

"Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the younger man.

"Sure will," replied the old-timer.

The young cowboy did as he was told, stood up, whipped out his Colt Single Action in .45 Long Colt and shot the bow tie off the piano player.

"That's terrific!" said the aspiring gunfighter......"Got any more tips for me?"

"Yep," said the old man. "Cut a notch out of your holster where the hammer hits it. That'll give you a smoother draw".

"Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the younger man.

"You bet it will," said the old-timer.

The young man took out his knife, cut the notch, stood up, drew his gun in a blur, and then shot a cuff-link off the piano player.

"Wow!" exclaimed the young cowboy, "I'm learnin' somethin' here!"

"Got any more tips?"

The old man pointed to a large can in a corner.

"See that bucket of wagon axle grease over there? Coat your gun with it."

The young man went over to the can and smeared some of the axle grease on the barrel of his gun.

"No," said the old-timer, "I mean smear it all over the gun,...handle and all."

"Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the young man.

"No," said the old-timer, "but when Wyatt Earp gets done playing the piano, he's gonna shove that gun so far up where the Sun don't shine, it won't hurt you near as much."